Dream Learning
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: After coming back to their motel after researching their newest hunt Sam and Dean find a woman sleeping in Sam's bed. After finding out it's Gabriel back from the dead. What is he doing back and why is he trapped in his dream like state?Slash Hurt!Gabriel
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. How can I do this you ask. Because it's going to be freaking awesome! Enjoy!

* * *

"I don't know what your problem is, Sam," Dean said opening the door, "It's not…Sam, why is there a chick in your bed?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at my bed, "Okay, that's unexpected."

"You have no idea who that is, do you?"

"Not a clue."

Dean and I looked at each other before shrugging. I gently walked to the woman and kneeled next to her. Her skin was a snow white while her hair was a midnight black and fell in curls down her back.

Her breathing was soft and even so I knew that she was asleep. The more I stared at her the more I thought that I knew her. She seemed so familiar, but I couldn't figure out where from.

"This is weird," I said standing up and moving toward Dean, "I think I know her."

"From where?" Dean asked crossing his arms.

"I have no idea. I just think I know her from somewhere from a job."

"Maybe Cas knows something. We're going to need his help on this case anyway."

"You should go outside and call for him. If she's dangerous I want to know before she wakes up and tries to kill us."

"Right, I'll be back. Yell if you need help."

Nodding my head I waited until Dean had closed the door behind him to look back at the woman. She didn't seem that dangerous as she slept. Her face held a certain peace that seemed a little out of place for some reason.

The door opened reviling Castiel and Dean. They walked into the room and Castiel came over to me and the woman. With a look of concentration on his face Castiel placed a hand on thee woman's head and closed his eyes.

Dean and I watched the two of them carefully and waited for Castiel to talk to us. If he didn't know who this woman was I knew we wouldn't know who she was until she told us herself.

Hopefully she wasn't a bad guy and didn't try to kill us when she woke up. Although I didn't think she would have fallen asleep if she had come her to just kill Dean and I.

"This cannot be right," Castiel said pulling away from the woman.

"What?" Dean asked confused, "Who is she?"

"Gabriel."

Freezing I stared at the woman in shock. Gabriel had died awhile ago and I had doubted he was going to come back, and coming back as a girl was another shock. Gabriel didn't strike me as someone who liked changing things a lot.

"How can that be Gabriel?" Dean said crossing his arms, "I thought Lucifer killed him."

"He did," Castiel said slowly, "I am not sure how he is back or why, but this is him."

I looked down at the woman and realized that Castiel was right. Even though she was asleep she held the same presence that Gabriel had held in his other body, but there was no doubt that this was him.

"He's asleep," I said softly, "How is that possible, Cas?"

"I do not know," Castiel said shaking his head, "I have never heard of an angel sleeping."

"You slept," Dean pointed out.

"I was falling," he said easily, "Gabriel has all of his powers. His sleeping is a mystery. You will have to ask him when he wakes up."

Nodding my head I looked at Gabriel again before grabbing my bag and pulling my laptop out. As long as Castiel was here we were going to get some work done. We had to be quiet though. Waking up the Archangel didn't sound fun.

It was around one in the morning when Castiel decided that he would go to Heaven and gather as much information as he could than come back when he could. Gabriel was still fast asleep in my bed.

Sighing I changed quickly and laid on the couch. It wasn't very comfortable, but sleeping in the same bed as Gabriel sounded a lot worse. It was only for one night, I hoped.

I was used to not sleeping very well or taking a long time to fall asleep so it was surprising when I fell asleep almost the instant I closed my eyes. I wasn't going to complain for the long, dreamless sleep when I woke up.

"Sam," Dean said shaking me awake.

"What?" I said waking slowly, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm going to go get some breakfast and I can't find a pencil to write a note."

"Oh, okay. Hey, what time is it?"

"Almost ten. Weird, I slept really hard last night."

"Me too. Want me to come with you?"

"Nah, you stay with him and wait for Cas to get back. I'll bring you some rabbit food, Sammy."

Rolling my eyes I sat up and stretched. I had been right about the couch not being comfortable, but my back wasn't as sore as I thought it would be. I actually felt relatively comfortable.

I grabbed my bag and went into the bathroom. After a quick shower and changing into clean clothes I went back into the main room. Gabriel was still sleeping soundly in my bed.

Against my better judgment I kneeled next to my bed again. Usually when I was around Gabriel I had the urge to ring his neck, but he looked so different and his aura itself was different.

"Sam," Gabriel said grabbing my arm.

Looking down at Gabriel's face I saw a look that I had never seen in his eyes before. He looked so pained. I gaped at him as he moved his hand down my arm and linked his hand with mine.

"Please," he said his voice now having a thick Southern accent.

"I won't," I said knowing what he meant somehow.

Gabriel stared at me for a few more seconds before his eyes slipped shut again. His grip on my hand didn't loosen as he slept, but I didn't mind as much as I thought I would.

"I got food," Dean said walking into the room.

"Shh," I said staring at Gabriel, "Be quiet."

Dean gave me a confused look but walked quietly over to me. He looked down at mine and Gabriel's hands intertwined and cocked an eyebrow. Shaking my head I motioned to the bag for my food.

"What happened?" Dean asked pulling a chair over to us so we could talk quietly.

"He woke up," I said calmly.

"And you guys are holding hands because?"

Before I could answer Dean a soft sound came and Castiel appeared by the front door. As usual Castiel's face was blank, but his eyes were fixed on Gabriel and they held a lot of worry.

"Cas," Dean said staring at him, "What's wrong?"

"Sam," Cas said ignoring Dean, "Remove the blanket from Gabriel."

I gave him a confused look before doing as he said. I gently pulled the blanket away from the body and swallowed down a gasp when I saw it. How someone had taken this much abuse and lived was surprising, even for an Archangel.

Gabriel's body was littered with what looked like whip marks. His arms, legs, back, chest, his whole body looked horrible. The whip marks were deep and unhealed but none of them were bleeding anymore.

"What the hell Cas?" Dean said looking away from Gabriel.

"Gabriel took on a punishment," Castiel said calmly, "This normally is not done and I do not know why he took the punishment, but he has been given all of his powers back and can travel to Heaven when he pleases."

"That was taken away from him?" I asked confused, "His ability to go home?"

"Yes," he said nodding, "When he walked away he lost his ability to go to Heaven, but he could still contact us if he called."

"He never called, did he?"

"Not to my knowledge."

Sighing I looked back at Gabriel and felt sadness. Gabriel had done this to go back home, but from what Castiel said this wasn't done anymore. Who would have done this to him?

"I do not know. No angel, not even Lucifer would do this."

"What about God?"

"Never. He would have forgiven Gabriel before he would do this."

"Then what happened to him?"

I resisted the urge to run a hand through his hair as concern rushed over me. Gabriel was an ass, there was no doubt in that, but everything he did had been to help me. There was something about him now that he wasn't trying to hide away.

"Maybe it was a demon," I said staring at his face, "They heard of what used to be done and did this to him."

"It is possible," Castiel said calmly, "I do not understand how he is back though."

"I guess we'll ask him when he wakes up," Dean said standing up, "When will that be?"

"When the marks disappear than he will wake up," Castiel said nodding.

"He woke up once," I said softly, "That's why he's holding my hand."

"Hope he does not wake again until they are gone or things will be worse_**."**_


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. Enjoy!

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"Go to sleep, Sam," Dean said looking at me from his bed.

"Can't," I said typing with one hand on my laptop.

"Why not?"

"Because this chair is very uncomfortable."

"Then climb into bed with Gabriel and go to sleep."

Sighing I rolled my eyes and shut my laptop down. I knew that Dean was right. I was tired, even though I hadn't done anything today. Having a day of doing nothing was more exhausting then doing a hunt.

Dean nodded his head and turned away from me to go back to sleep. I was already wearing something that would be easy enough to sleep in I went to the empty side of the bed and laid on the blankets.

I shut my eyes and hoped I could fall asleep easily again when I felt cold air flowing in from under the door. Looking up at the ceiling I gently climbed under the blankets and shut my eyes again.

Feeling the warmth of the body next to mine helped lull me into another night of deep sleep. Although this time I wasn't lucky enough to have the same dreamless sleep as last night.

When I fell asleep I found myself in a large living room. I looked around trying to figure out exactly where I was, but there were no windows or a way out of the house that I could see.

"Sam?" a soft voice asked from upstairs.

Turning around I looked up the stairs, but saw no one. I ran a hand through my hair before calmly starting to walk up the stairs. Warily I stopped at the top of the stairs and saw a hallway of closed doors.

"Sam," the voice said again quietly.

I looked between the closed doors and went to open the first one. When I found that the door was locked I heard the voice calling my name get louder. The more doors I tried to open the louder the voice got.

In the end there was only one door left and the voice was almost constant now. Without thinking I opened the door and rushed in. Once I was in the room I felt my entire body freeze.

There was a chair in the middle of the room. The female Gabriel was tied to the chair and I could see that the whip marks were bleeding. I thought that he was unconscious, at least I hoped that he was.

"Sam," Gabriel said softly, "You're here."

"Of course I am," I said confused, "I don't know where here is or why I'm here, but I am here."

"It shouldn't be possible."

"What are you talking about Gabriel? I'm not the one that's dead."

"Dreaming. I'm just dreaming."

"So am I. At least I think I am."

"You shouldn't be in my dream."

"Should I list the things you shouldn't be? You shouldn't be alive, a girl, or screaming my name. You are though."

"How do you know I was screaming you're name?"

"Because of the way you reacted when I got in here. I'll ask why you were yelling my name later. First, why can't I move?"

"You can Sam. I can't. I have to heal completely before I can move and wake up."

"How are we aware that this is a dream?"

"It's a dream that someone else made. As long as someone else makes the dream then it is easy to tell whether or not you're dreaming. I don't know why you're in my dream though."

"How do I get out?"

"You can't."

My eyes widened when I heard him say that. As I listened to his voice I realized that he sounded like he had given up in a way. Gabriel wasn't the same as he was before he died and this new person was freaking me out a little.

"Move Sam. You aren't the one that can't move."

Blinking a few times quickly I found that I could in fact move easily. I made my way to Gabriel and gently kneeled in front of him. I looked up at him and saw that his eyes were a bright piercing blue.

"Wow," I said surprised.

"What?" Gabriel asked confused.

"Your eyes. They're amazing."

"I wouldn't know. I haven't seem this body yet. What do I look like?"

I looked away when he said that. I didn't know what I was going to say to him. There was no doubt in my mind that he was beautiful. How was I supposed to explain that if I had just randomly met this chick I'd try to get her in my bed?

"You can't see yourself?" I asked avoiding the question.

"I can't see anything," Gabriel said calmly.

"Damn. What the hell happened to you, Gabriel?"

"I don't know exactly. I remember dying. Then it was a few months later and I was in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Before I could look in the mirror or even question anything I was attacked and beaten. Well, I was whipped. At first I thought it was an angel, but it was a demon who had studied what the angel's did long ago. When he left I was strong enough to find the place you and your brother were staying, just strong enough to appear there. I couldn't stay awake any longer. Then I was here. I could talk, but I can't move."

"Oh. Gabriel, I…"

"Don't. Just don't, Sam. I know you feel sorry for me. I'll be fine though. I just don't want to think about how long I'll be here. Can you just tell me what I look like now? I'm almost positive I'm a girl so if you think I'm cute that's fine. Just tell me."

Shaking my head I stood up and took a few steps away from him. I hated the way he was talking. The soul might have been Gabriel, but there was no chance that he was okay mentally anymore.

After taking a few deep breaths I closed my eyes and tried to think of something to say. Gabriel was hurt and he needed someone to help him, just like he had tried to help me all those times before.

"You're beautiful Gabriel," I said softly, "You're skin is porcelain, your hair midnight in color, and your eyes, I can't even explain how electric blue they are. Yeah you are a woman. You're not really skinny, but you're not fat either. Very curvy. And that accent makes everything just come together. You have no idea how beautiful I think you are, Gabriel."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Running a hand through my hair I tried to think of something else to say. Gabriel didn't act the way I was hoping he would. I wanted him to get sarcastic and flirty and make fun of me.

I growled to myself and spun to face him. I wanted Gabriel back. I'd take him being a complete ass and pissing me off for the rest of my life as long as I got him out of this depressing state.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I said kneeling in front of him, "This isn't you Gabriel."

"How would you know?" Gabriel said softly.

"Because you're the guy that spent months killing Dean to help me get used to the idea of him being gone and to show that he's my weakness. You sent Dean and I into a TV set to show that we had to say yes to Michael and Lucifer. You left a hidden message for Dean and I in a porno, for fucks sake, Gabriel. You being this depressed and sad is nothing like what you are."

"Things change."

"Change them back then."

"Why do you want him back so much? It sounds like I tortured you."

"Because I liked you like that. You were an ass and you have no idea how many times I dreamt of kissing you."

"What?"

"At night for days after I saw you I'd have these dreams. Dream of how soft you'd lips would be. Dream of tasting you, of how sweet you'd taste. I could imagine it and I got so hard every night. Chocolate and strawberries and sugar and everything sweet. That's what I want back, Gabriel."

Without thinking I leaned up and pressed my lips to his gently. I knew that Gabriel hadn't eaten any sugar or candy yet he tasted just as I had dreamt. His lips didn't move against mine, but the moan that fell from his lips told me he was happy about the kiss.

Lifting my hands up I carded them through his hair and pulled back slightly. Staring into his eyes I did my best to try to see past the blank expression that was in his eyes.

"How long until you're out of here and healed?" I asked in a whisper.

"What is today?" Gabriel asked slowly.

"Monday."

"It's only been one day. Wow. I'll wake up on Sunday."

"That's a week away."

"I know. And it's about to get worse."

"What do you mean?"

"It's time to wake up Sam."


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey Sammy," Dean said from the table, "You're finally awake."

"Yeah," I said sitting up, "How long was I sleeping?"

"It's almost noon. What were you dreaming of?"

"You should get Cas down here before I explain. I'm going to take a shower first though."

Looking down at Gabriel I was reminded of the kiss I had just shared with him. I smiled gently at him. He looked different then he had when I went to bed. A little bit happier which I was glad about.

I stood up without letting go of his hand and went to his side while making sure Dean couldn't see what I was about to do. When I was sure he couldn't I kissed Gabriel's palm gently.

"I'll be here when you wake up," I whispered as quietly as I could.

Letting go of his hand I rested it gently on the bed and went into the bathroom. Once the door was closed and the water was on I sighed gently. I hadn't wanted to tell Gabriel any of that, but I did like the way he reacted.

He still wasn't reacting the way that I was used to, but maybe when he woke up he could get back to being himself. I still didn't know why he was screaming my name when I got there, but I would get that answer out of him later.

Climbing out of the shower I quickly got dried off and changed into something I knew I could fall asleep in. I doubted that I was going to be sent back into Gabriel's dream again, but if I was I wanted to be able to get in there as soon as I could.

"So what happened Sammy?" Dean asked when I walked out of the bathroom.

"I talked to Gabriel," I said sitting on my bed next to him, "Hey Cas."

"Hello Sam," Castiel said nodding at me calmly, "What do you mean you talked to Gabriel?"

"Exactly that," I said shrugging, "Instead of having my own dream I was in his."

"I do not understand."

Taking a deep breath I started to explain to Dean and Castiel most of what happened in my dream. Dean had didn't know that I had a crush on Gabriel, in fact he didn't know that the first time I had sex was with a guy.

I wasn't gay, I just wasn't completely straight either. I didn't know why I hadn't told Dean, I knew that he wasn't going to care, it just wasn't something that I really thought about anymore.

"That is unusual," Castiel said looking at me, "Do you know why you were sent there?"

"No idea," I said shrugging.

"Okay," Dean said standing up, "Now that you aren't attached to Gabriel anymore let's go get something to eat and find a hunt."

"I don't know Dean. Maybe I should stay here and make sure nothing happens to him. I mean, a demon did this to him and he might come back to finish him off."

"I can stay with him," Castiel said calmly.

"No," I said quickly, "I do it."

"Alright," Dean said eyeing me, "I'll get you a burger."

Dean grabbed his car keys and left Castiel and me alone. Castiel stared at me calmly before walking toward me. He looked between Gabriel and I for a few moments in confusion.

"You are not telling me something Sam," Castiel said looking at Gabriel.

"Why do you say that?" I asked confused.

"Because there is one way that I know of that someone can enter a dream like you did."

"What's that?"

"Love. You are in love with Gabriel."

"No I'm not."

"Then you would not have been in his dream and your reaction to leaving him would not be as loud as it was."

"Fine, I think I love him. I have for awhile, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"He is not going to be the same, Sam. Dying is one thing, going through this beating is worse than that. It is why no one has done it in centuries. Gabriel will not make it out of that dream without some mental damage."

"What are you saying Cas?"

"That Gabriel will not be what you are expecting. He is going to be different."

"He is acting weird. Although kissing him did get him to do something. Hopefully when he can move again things will start to go back to normal."

"I doubt it Sam, but good luck. And you should tell Dean about this before Gabriel wakes up."

"I will. Don't worry, Cas, everything will be fine."

With a nod Castiel disappeared from the room as Dean walked in with the burgers. Dean looked up at me and cocked his eyebrow. I waved slightly and looked back at Gabriel.

"I know you're not telling me something Sam," Dean said placing the food on the table, "Just tell me before all of this gets out of hand."

"Okay," I said calmly, "I like Gabriel, a lot. Actually I think I'm in love with him."

"Oh."

Dean stared at me for a moment before shrugging and tossing a burger to me. Smiling I started to eat my food and hoped that this was going to be the end of the conversation. I should know Dean better than that.

"So, you ever been with a guy?" Dean asked smirking.

"Dude," I said rolling my eyes.

"Come on, you have to admit you'd ask if I told you that."

"Yeah, I would. Fine. Remember when you found out I had sex for the first time?"

"Yup, wait that was the first?"

"It was. Now, can we drop it?"

"Sure. Did I know him?"

"Dean. Yeah, you knew him. You and him hung out all the time. He was supposed to meet you at this party, but he was late. Yeah, he was with me."

"Okay, that's too much info."

"You asked."

Dean glared at me as I started to laugh loudly at his reaction. My laughter was cut short when I started to notice that Dean was getting fuzzy. I could feel myself being pulled under like I was falling asleep.

"Sam," Dean said kneeling in front of me, "What's wrong?"

"So tired," I said slowly.

"Sam!"

I heard Dean yell my name, but I couldn't find the energy to respond. My eyes rolled in the back of my head and I felt myself drift into a deep sleep although I was fighting against it.

"Sam?" Gabriel asked softly, "What are you doing back here?"

"I don't know," I said honestly, "I was just talking to Dean."

"You have to be asleep. I don't know why you're here now though."

"Neither do I. But Cas did tell me how I got here. Why didn't you?"

"I can hear that conversation now. 'Sam, the only reason you're allowed in here was because you're in love with me. And, oh yeah, I was calling your name because I'm in love with you too.' Yes, that would go over well."

"Maybe it would have."

"Sam, you aren't getting this are you? I'm not going to be okay. That idiot trickster that you so _loved _is gone. Get over it and stop loving me so this will end."

I looked down at the Archangel without hiding the heartbreak and worry on my face. I might have been expecting for Gabriel to act a little different, but this was just too much.

"Why can't you move?" I said throwing my hands up, "This would be so much easier if you could."

"What would?"

"Fucking you senseless."

"Sam."

"I'm serious, Gabriel. You apparently aren't getting that I have feelings for you and that you're going to be fine. Yet for some reason you're fighting against something that I know both of us want. I wouldn't be here if you didn't care and I wouldn't be saying all of this if I didn't."

"I'm tired of people caring Sam. Do you know what caring as done? Lucifer cared too much about Father and you saw what happened to him. Dean cared too much about you and he died. And I care about you. You will never know what that cost me."

"Then tell me."

"No."

"Damn it Gabriel. Why not?"

"Why let someone close when they're just going to leave?"

"I'm not going to leave. Hello, I'm in your dream, Gab. I'm not going anywhere. Anyway, you're the one that came to my motel room because you thought it would be safe. You can't just tell me that you care about me and that it cost you a lot without telling me the rest of the story. Now quit being such an ass and tell me what you meant."

"I can't."

"Tell me."

"It's the reason I'm here."


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. Enjoy!

* * *

"I can feel you staring at me Sam," Gabriel said quietly, "What is it?"

"I'm the reason you're here?" I asked sitting on the floor in front of him.

"Technically, yes, you're the reason I'm here."

"What do you mean?"

Gabriel sighed gently and I could feel the sadness rolling off of him. Without thinking I leaned up and pressed my lips to his again. Shutting my eyes I relished in the feeling of his lips.

I expected Gabriel to stay still like he did before but his lips started to move against mine this time. Moaning I pressed closer to him and ran a tongue across his lips gently.

"Stop," Gabriel said against my lips.

"I thought you," I said pulling back, "No, Gabriel, don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything, Sam. We're not together and we will never be together."

"Why not? And don't give me any of that you're an Archangel bullshit. That's never stopped you before."

"That was before."

"Damn it Gabriel. What the hell is wrong with you? You're the Trickster."

"The Trickster was fake."

"When will you be able to move?"

"In here? It should be by tomorrow at least. Why?"

"Because things are going to change when you can move."

Gabriel let out a soft growl, but I had no idea what he was angry at. I knew that he knew I was right, but it wasn't going to change anything. I hoped that when he was able to move I could knock some sense back into him."

"Ow," I said gripping my head.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Gabriel asked worry instantly filling his voice.

"My head. I think I'm going to wake up Gabriel. I'll talk to you later. Please, just think about what I said."

Leaning up I kissed him again before my eyes shut and I heard Dean and Castiel talking. I wanted to go back into the dream and be with Gabriel, but he needed to think about what I was saying.

"What are you saying Cas?" Dean asked confused.

"Sam's soul has been traveling through the world for centuries and before Gabriel left it was his job to watch over him like it is my job to watch over you. One thing is different though."

"What's that?"

"Gabriel fell in love with him before he left. It is actually one of the reasons he left. It could be one of the reasons that he is in the position he is in now. If a demon put him there then it is possible he did it to get information to help you and your brother"

"Gabriel has changed a lot."

"No, Gabriel has done everything in his power to help the ones he cares about. He was in the middle of a lot of arguments when he was in Heaven."

"He left."

"He fell in love with Sam, well, at the time he was called Julian. Gabriel couldn't stay away of him. He would travel to Earth multiple times a day for hours at a time. He did his best to keep anyone from knowing what he was doing. During this time the fighting between Lucifer and Michael started to get worse.

Gabriel was barely there anymore and they were starting to notice. They followed Gabriel and found out about Julian. They were going to kill Julian to free Gabriel from the love. Gabriel left Heaven thinking that if he was there to protect Julian they wouldn't try to kill him. They killed him anyway hoping Gabriel would come back. He did not. He never came back."

As I listened to Castiel tell Dean what happened to Gabriel I felt my heart breaking. Gabriel had fallen in love with me before and done everything to be with me, but his brothers killed me to keep him home.

It wasn't surprising that Gabriel was trying to keep me at an arms distance even though he did love me. I needed to get him to believe that I wasn't going to leave this time.

That was going to be hard. Gabriel was an Archangel, even though he could be killed it took a lot of effort. I could be killed easily though. He had seen that first hand at least one time maybe more.

"When is Sam going to wake up?" Dean asked calmly.

"He is already awake," Castiel said softly.

Opening my eyes I looked over at Dean and Castiel. Dean stared at me before sighing. I got off of the bed and walked so I was standing with them. Castiel watched me calmly, but he looked like he was trying to figure out how his story effected me.

"How could they do that to him?" I asked slowly.

"They thought you were a liability," Castiel said shrugging, "They did not know what Gabriel would do if he lost you. And now he has you back in a way."

"Then he should really stop being an ass."

"He is not very good at that. He is just trying to protect himself, Sam. He left Heaven for you."

"And he took this beating for me too."

I looked back at Gabriel and fought against the urge to go to him. I didn't understand how he could keep something like this from me. It would have made things a lot easier if he had just talked to me.

"You talked to him?" Dean asked motioning to Gabriel.

"Yeah," I said nodding, "He's being an ass. And he'll be able to move in his dream tomorrow."

"I told you that things would be difficult."

Rolling my eyes I fell back on my bed and sighed. When Castiel had first said that it was going to be difficult to get through to Gabriel I had thought it was simply because of the beating not because he was in love with me.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked closing my eyes.

"I don't know," Dean said shrugging.

I turned over and looked at Gabriel. I had been in love with Jessica and she died, I was beginning to love Madison and Sarah, and they were either dead or I had to leave them.

Being afraid that Gabriel was going to get hurt or leave me was a very real fear for me also. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now to convince him that I thought this was the right thing to do.

"I found a hunt," Dean said slowly, "Let's go. Cas will stay here and watch over Gabriel."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Where are we going?"

Dean smirked slightly and opened the door. He started to explain to me what he had found about the hunt already and what we were going to do. I tried to listen to everything he was saying but my thoughts kept going back to Gabriel.

The Impala stopped and I looked around to see where we were. When I saw that Dean had simply pulled to the side of the room I looked at him in confusion. It was like Dean to put a hunt on the back burner.

"Alright, what's up?" Dean asked calmly, "What's that oversized brain of yours thinking this time?"

"You do realize that this is going to get 'girly', right?" I said cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah I know. But I know you well enough to know that you're going to be all unfocused until you talk. So, talk."

"You haven't seen what Gabriel is like, Dean. Uriel was more positive than him. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do to get him back."

"You really do like him, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know that it's surprising and with everything Gabriel has done to me, but."

"No need to explain, Dude. Can't believe I'm going to say this, but why don't you just talk to him and possibly slap him around a bit. Just make sure he listens to you."

"Easier said than done. But you're right. Thanks Dean."

"No problem. Now let's drop the subject and kick some demon ass."

Laughing I nodded my head in agreement. As much as Dean hated to have conversations he was more than willing to have them as long as it meant helping me get through something.

"Let's go," Dean said stopping the car in front of a house, "You know what we're going to do right?"

"Kick some demon ass," I said smirking.

"Damn straight."

Dean climbed out of the car and went to the trunk of the car. Following him I waited for him to hand me a gun and get his own. We went into the house and started to search for the demon.

We went through the hunt like we always had. It didn't matter that we had done this for years already or that there was times we didn't want to do this. Hunting was part of us by now.

"Dean," I said as we got in the Impala after the demon was dead, "Let's get something to drink before we go back to the motel."

"Alright," Dean said nodding, "We passed a bar on the way here. We'll be back at the motel in about an hour."

I looked out the window as Dean started to drive. My head was pounding with all the thoughts about Gabriel. I had to find a way to get through to him. I might have barely gotten to know him, but I didn't want to lose him and never get the chance to.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hello Sam," Castiel said when I walked through the door, "Dean."

"Hey Cas," Dean said throwing his jacket on the bed, "Anything change?"

"No, Gabriel is the same as he was when you left. Did the hunt go well?"

"Yeah, we got the bastard.

"Good. What are you thinking Sam?"

"I'm going to go to sleep. Hopefully Gabriel can move now," I said calmly.

"In that case, goodnight Sam," Castiel said leaving.

Taking a deep breath I climbed under the blankets on my bed and closed my eyes. Hopefully this time talking to Gabriel was going to turn out better. I didn't have time to really think about what I was going to say to him. It seemed like nothing was going to get through to him though.

"You're back, Sam," Gabriel said from the window.

"And you can move," I said smiling, "How does this body feel?"

"Almost as good as my last one. I didn't think I'd ever have another vessel. We're only given one you know. I guess I was given one more chance."

"What are you going to do with this chance?"

"I don't know yet. I might just go back to Heaven and live the rest of my life in peace."

"From what Castiel says it's not that peaceful up there or anywhere for that matter."

Gabriel let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Staring at him I started to wonder what he was thinking. He should know by now that I wasn't going to just give him up the second he could leave.

I needed to get him out of his head for awhile. If I was able to show him the life that he used to love I might be able to truly get to him. A little time to come up with a plan would be helpful.

"What would you do?" Gabriel asked turning toward me.

Looking at the ground I tried to find an answer. I didn't know how I was supposed to answer that. How was I supposed to help him if I couldn't even figure out my own problems.

"I don't know, Gabriel," I said slowly, "What do you want to do?"

Gabriel looked at me and took a deep breath. Taking a few steps closer to me he stopped and reached a shaky hand to my touch my face. When he touched me I felt my eyes slip shut as fire ran through me.

"This," Gabriel said pressing his lips to mine.

Threading my hand in his hair I brought him closer to me. The sparks that ran through me were stronger than anything I had ever felt before. Kissing Gabriel was something that felt so right.

Gabriel broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist. He rested his head against my chest while taking a deep breath. Resting my head on top of his I started to rub his back hoping to comfort him.

"Why does this feel so right?" Gabriel asked shaking his head, "This isn't supposed to feel this right."

"Why shouldn't it?" I asked pulling away, "Because you're afraid I'll say yes to Lucifer and Michael will kill me? Or because your brothers disapproved all those years ago?"

"How do you know that?"

"Castiel told me and Dean."

"Of course he did. What else did he tell you?"

"He just told us that you were told to protect me, but you fell in love with me. Your brothers found out and they killed me. Then you left Heaven."

"Oh, good."

"Wait, am I missing something?"

"Yes, but I'd rather not talk about it."

"Tell me Gabriel."

"You were married, Sam. You had two kids and then I came into the picture and you lost all of that. Then you lost your life. Because of me."

Freezing I stared at Gabriel in shock. I had no idea how Gabriel hadn't been acting like this before. I would have been broken hearted if I had been in his shoes. Gabriel was a lot stronger than I had thought.

"I have nothing to lose this time," I said honestly, "Why not give it a chance this time?"

"You could die," Gabriel said shaking his head.

"I'm a hunter. It comes with the job."

"You won't be killed because of me again."

"And I won't let you walk away from me. You're not the only one that's involved in this Gabriel. I have a say in it. There's no chance that I'm letting leave even if that means summoning your ass every five minutes."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yeah I am."

Gabriel and I glared at each other before he reached up and pulled me down to kiss him again. Wrapping my arms around his waist I moved him backwards until he was against the wall.

"Shouldn't do it," Gabriel said moving his hands under my shirt.

"Then tell me to stop," I said pressing my lips to his neck.

Watching Gabriel's eyes slip shut I smiled slightly and pulled away from him fully. He opened his eyes in confusion and stared at me. Grabbing his hand I pulled him so we could go downstairs.

"Where are we going?" Gabriel asked confused.

"First to the kitchen to see if there's any food in here," I said smiling, "Then to the bathroom."

"Why bathroom?"

"Because there should be a mirror in there. You can look at yourself."

"And see what?"

"How hot you are."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and pulled away from me. With a sigh I shook my head and followed him into the kitchen. Even though it seemed like he didn't want to have me there anymore he wasn't pulling away as much as before.

When we got into the kitchen Gabriel sat at the table and rested his head on his hands. Shaking my head I went to the fridge and saw that there was food in it. I pushed things to the side until I saw what I was hoping for.

A pack of fresh strawberries sat next to a can of whip cream. No matter how much Gabriel has changed I knew that he would have a sweet tooth. At least there was some time before he could physically leave me.

"Alright," I said pulling the food out, "I found something we can eat."

"Strawberries," Gabriel said slowly, "My favorite."

"I prefer kiwi, but strawberries are a close second."

"Kiwis are good. How can you not think strawberries are the best? They're just so sweet and juicy. They're amazing."

"Maybe I'm just eating them wrong."

Gabriel cocked an eyebrow and gently took a strawberry from the container. Smirking I watched him put the fruit to his mouth only to pull it back and stare at me with a small smirk.

"What are you doing Sam?" Gabriel asked softly.

"I was watching you eat a strawberry," I said shrugging, "Now I'm just watching you."

"If you're trying to be a stalker let me be the first to tell you that you suck at it."

"Thanks for the update. I'm not trying to be a stalker though. Although that is a good idea."

Gabriel rolled his eyes once more and handed me a strawberry. I took the strawberry from him and bit into it softly. His eyes watched my lips for a moment before he ate a strawberry himself.

Smiling happily I walked toward him so I was standing behind him. Gabriel looked up at me and opened his mouth to say something. Before he could get a sound out I leaned forward and kissed him.

Running my tongue over his I gathered as much strawberry taste as I could before pulling away and smiling again. Gabriel's eyes were closed for a few moments, but once he opened them I knew that he didn't know what to do next.

"Yup," I said nodding, "Totally eating them wrong. Did you know you taste like sugar?"

"Sounds like something I would taste like," Gabriel said calmly, "You did always comment on mine love of sweets."

"That's why I got some whip cream."

"Sam."

"What? You seemed into before. What's changed?"

"I started to think."

"Well, then stop. No more thinking. Just feel Gabriel."

"That's dangerous Sam. Trust me. If I just went with what I feel neither of us would be okay."

"I can handle it."

"I can't. Not again at least."

"I'm not dropping this."

"Wake up and smell the coffee Gabriel, I'm not going anywhere so get over it and be with me."


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing. Contains slash and has hurt!Gabriel. Enjoy!

* * *

"You're going to drive yourself insane, Sam," Dean said standing behind me, "I get that you love the guy, but staring at him while he's sleeping makes you seem like a stalker."

"That's what Gabriel said," I said smiling slightly, "Actually he said that I sucked at being a stalker."

"He's right. Now why don't you, I don't know, go out and do something productive with your life?"

"I am doing something productive. I'm thinking of a way to get Gabriel to stop being an ass."

"This is Gabriel you're talking about Sammy. You know, the guy that spent years being the Trickster. I think being an ass is just who he is."

"Well, he's an ass I'm in love with and would rather not lose the second he can leave."

"Okay, I get it. Chill, dude. We'll figure something out."

Dean pulled a chair in front of me and sat down. I wasn't that surprised that Dean was taking all of this so well, but I didn't know what he was going to do to help me get through to Gabriel.

Turning to Dean I smiled slightly at the look of determination on his face. I might give him a hard time a lot, but I honestly hated when he wasn't around. As 'chick flick' as it was Dean was my best friend.

"Alright, what have you tried?" Dean asked calmly.

"Mostly just talking to him," I said shrugging, "I did kiss him, but they didn't work."

"Then there's one option left."

"What's that?"

"Smack him. Maybe it will knock some sense into him."

"This is Gabriel."

"Exactly. Are you going back in there?"

"Not yet. Gabriel needs some time. No offense, but the two of you are similar in some ways. It takes you forever to listen to someone that's saying something you don't like. Once you hear it though you start to think when you're alone."

"Dude, don't compare me to him."

"You know what I mean. Anyway, tell me we have like a hunt or something. As much as I want to be here with Gabriel this room is really starting to bum me out."

Dean laughed slightly and took the keys out of his pocket. I caught them as he threw them to me. My eyes went wide as I looked at the keys before I smiled happily and grabbed my coat.

"Are you coming Dude?" I asked opening the door.

"Nah," Dean said shaking his head, "I got a few things I got to do. Anyway, I'll watch over Gabriel while you're gone."

"Come on Dean. I really don't want to be walking around town all day alone."

"You won't. Gabriel is going to met you at the lake and he's going to tell you more about Gabriel. Maybe he can help you. Pick up some food on your way though. You need to eat more."

"Okay, thanks Dean."

Dean waved his arm at me as he turned on the TV. Shaking my head I left the room. This was about as far as Dean wanted to go when in concerned these types of things.

Getting into the Impala I drove to the nearest food place and got something to eat quickly. Castiel had something to tell me and I wanted to find out what it was as soon as I could.

When I got to the lake I looked around for Castiel, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Sighing I closed my eyes and waited for him. A yawn slipped through my lips before I could stop it.

Even though I had been sleeping more I was still tired. Maybe it was because I was in Gabriel's dream and not my own, but I didn't mind for the most part. I liked being around Gabriel.

"Hello Sam," Castiel said from the backseat.

"Cas," I said jumping, "Dude you scared me."

"I am sorry. I thought Dean had told you I would be coming."

"He did. Just didn't hear you."

"Oh."

"Was there something you needed to tell me Castiel?"

Castiel looked at me through the rearview mirror with curiosity. Somehow it still surprised me how Castiel acted. He had become such a staple in our lives that I forgot that he wasn't just another hunter.

"I do," Castiel said nodding, "There are some things about Gabriel that you do not know. I did not know them at first either, but it seems that you need to now that you are trying to be with him."

"Okay," I said calmly, "What is it?"

"Gabriel has been watching over you for many centuries, almost since your soul was first born. Gabriel was no the only angel that liked to watch the humans, but he was the first one that wanted to mix with them. He was intrigued by you. He thought that you were different than the others. There were times when he would think of visiting your dreams. He did not though, at least not for the next few life cycles.

He could cloak himself from you so the first few times he did go to visit you could not see him. Things turned out differently though. You were never to know that he was there, but somehow you did. You could feel his presence and you started to ask him to show himself. For almost a month Gabriel did not come to see you. It was very difficult for him though and he went back to you. The only different was that he showed himself to you. Your relationship grew from there."

When Castiel finished talking I closed my eyes and rested my head on the steering wheel. Some of what Castiel was saying was hard to grasp. Gabriel remembered all of the past lives, while I remembered nothing.

"How do you know all of this?" I asked turning to Castiel.

"Gabriel wrote a lot," Castiel said calmly, "I found the place that he stayed when he was alive and read the notebooks he had there. I thought that it might help getting him back to your side."

"My side? Don't you mean our side?"

"No, Sam. Well Gabriel technically is an Archangel and his soul should not go through the normal life cycle as yours does, he is the one you are meant to be with."

"I don't get how that whole 'meant to be' thing. How are Gabriel and I 'meant to be'?"

"I am not a Cupid, Sam. I do not know how this works exactly either. I do know that you two are supposed to be together, to complete each other."

"I don't need another person to complete me."

"I am aware of that. No one needs another to complete them. What I meant was that there is one person out there that you will never feel the need to hide anything from. The person that you will feel comforted and protected around no matter what. You can be in love with many different people at many different times, but the person that makes you feel that is the one you are meant to be with forever."

I let out a soft sigh before getting out of the Impala. I needed to find a way for Gabriel to stay with me. Castiel was right, he usually was, but he wasn't really helping me out in anyway.

It wasn't a hard decision to make. I loved Gabriel and I wanted him to be with me. I simply didn't know how to get him to want to stay with me. Everything that Castiel was telling me made me wonder if Gabriel would ever try to be with me again.

Gabriel was the type of person that would blame himself for what happened in the past without letting up on himself. And there was nothing I could do about it because I didn't remember what happened.

Castiel could go around reading all the things that Gabriel wrote down since this whole thing started, but it wouldn't help me any. I needed to be there in person to fully understand what had happened.

"Cas," I said knowing his was behind me, "Can you send me to the past?"

"Yes," Castiel said calmly, "But it is not that simple."

"Make it simple for me than. I need to go back to when Gabriel and I first met. It's the only way I can think of to get him to stay."

"You do realize that this is a very dangerous thing to do?"

"I do, but this is Gabriel, Cas. I don't want to lose him again."

"Alright, I will tell Dean what is going on. Keep in mind that I can not keep you back there for too long. A few hours at most."

"You sent Dean for a longer time."

"That was not centuries ago. This takes a lot of power, Sam. Be glad I can do this for a few hours. Remember your name is Julian."

"Got it. Thanks Cas."

"You are welcome."

Castiel took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye. I could tell that he was trying to figure out whether this was in fact a good idea. It was hard to believe that Castiel cared this much about me sometimes.

"Cas," I said softly, "This is the only way. I promise I'll be fine."

"I know," Castiel said nodding.

Letting out a soft sigh I closed my eyes and waited for the feeling of flying to consume me. As much as I hated the feeling if it meant getting Gabriel back then I would be willing to deal.


	7. Chapter 7

**PAY ATTENTION! Julian is Sam! **I own nothing. Enjoy! Ending soon.

"Julian," a woman said walking up to me, "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be gone all day?"

In front of me stood a beautiful woman. My heart jumped as Jessica's name popped into my mind. She looked so differently, but it was the same woman that I had known.

"I was, Aelia" I started to say without thinking, "I had forgotten something for the stand."

"You won't get anything sold if you continue to forget things, Julian," Aelia said with a bright smile, "What exactly have you forgotten this time?"

"The blanket that you had made. I had left it on our bed last night."

"You would lose your head if it was not attached to your body. You should hurry."

"I will."

Leaning forward I kissed Aelia gently. Aelia broke the kiss and smiled at me before turning and going into a different room. Getting the blanket from our bed I started to walk back to my cart.

It was as if I had no control over anything that I was doing. For the first time I was thankful for that. Seeing and feeling everything without having to be in control and knowing that nothing will happen that hasn't before was a good feeling.

As I walked I started to feel like I was being followed. I turned around a few times but didn't see anything. It had been awhile since I had last felt this. Although it did confuse me I never felt scared or threatened.

"You are back," I said calmly, "Are you going to show yourself this time?"

"If that is what you want," a male voice said from behind me.

"It is. I told you that the last time you were here."

"Than look at me."

I felt my body turn towards the voice and saw Gabriel there. He was in the body that he had before he died. My heart started to pound when I saw him smirking sexily at me.

"Who are you?" I asked moving closer to him.

"My name is Gabriel, Julian," Gabriel said calmly.

"Nice to know you know who I am. Is there anything else I need to know before I leave?"

"I have nothing to say."

"Weird, I thought you would tell me why you were following me."

"Who says I was following you?"

"I do. Why have you been following me?"

"I simply am watching over you. Trying to make sure you do not get hurt."

"What would hurt me? I own a cart where I sell clothing and blankets. There is no need for my death."

"Do not fool yourself, you are more important in the grand theme of the world. I can not explain everything to you."

"You can try."

"No I can not. It is not my place, nor is it important. My job is to keep you safe. You are not supposed to even know I am here."

"Then why did you show yourself to me?"

"I honestly do not know. I was not thinking of what would happen if I showed myself to you."

"What were you thinking of?"

"You. I have not seen you in awhile. I was making sure that you were alright."

"I think you are lying to me, Gabriel."

Before Gabriel started to talk again I moved closer to him. When I was only a few steps away from him I felt myself trying not to reach out and kiss him. My heart started to race when I realized that I was attracted to him.

"Why do you think that?" Gabriel said softly.

"Think what?" I asked getting distracted.

"You were distracted. What were you thinking about?"

"How is that any of your concern? I still am unclear as to why you are here."

"I told you I am here to protect. Is that hard to believe?"

"You are a random man that has come out of nowhere that has been following me around without being seen for what I can only tell as months. What part of that am I supposed to believe?"

"All of it. It is all true."

"Fine, I am going to be leaving now. Feel free to not follow me anymore."

Turning to leave I made it a few steps before turning back around. Gabriel was still standing there watching me. With a sigh I walked back to him and stood in front of him.

"Alright, I am listening," I said crossing my arms.

"What else am I supposed to say?" Gabriel asked confused.

"I wish I knew. I am not even sure why I came back."

"Come with me. We can talk some more."

"I have to get back to my cart. I do need the money."

"Do not worry about that. Please, Julian, come with me."

I looked behind me knowing that if I walked a few more feet that I would be at my cart. Something about the way that Gabriel was acting made me want to follow him. Shaking my head and motioned for him to start walking.

Gabriel smirked sexily at me and placed his fingers to my forehead before both of us disappeared. I felt my stomach jump to my throat and I swallowed a few times as I fell to the ground when we landed.

"What was that?" I asked looking around.

"Me," Gabriel said calmly, "I might not exactly be Human."

"What are you then?"

Gabriel stepped forward and offered me a hand. Even after being told that Gabriel wasn't human I couldn't bring myself to think that he was bad. Gabriel wasn't going to hurt me, I hoped.

Taking Gabriel's hand I allowed him to pull me up. I stared at Gabriel trying to figure out what exactly was pulling me toward him. Everything in my mind was telling me to run, but I couldn't bring myself to do that.

"What are you Gabriel?" I asked crossing my arms.

"I am Gabriel, the Archangel," Gabriel said calmly.

Gaping I stared at Gabriel and wondered what I was supposed to say. Either he was telling me the truth or he was crazy. Both sides could get me in a lot of trouble if I didn't play this right.

"This is confusing," I said turning away from him, "Are you insane?"

"No," Gabriel said slowly, "I am an Archangel. That is how I got you here."

"Where is here?"

"A house in the mountains. I brought you here so we can talk without people starting to think you were insane. You were technically talking to yourself."

"What are you going to be talking to me about?"

"What you were thinking about before. What was it?"

"It was my own personal thoughts and I do not see how that is important."

"It is."

"How?"

"Because I need to know what you were thinking so I know what I should do next."

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair and made a quick decision. I doubted that I was ever going to see Gabriel again. Anything that I told him would never come up in a normal conversation.

"I wondered what it would feel like to kiss you," I said not looking at him.

When Gabriel didn't answer me back I turned around only to come face to face with him. Gasping I tried to tell myself to run, but it was like my brain was no longer connected to my body.

Gabriel looked into my eyes for a few moments before pressing his lips to mine. I had shared many kisses with my wife, but they didn't hold half as much a passion and what I could only guess was love.

Pulling away I tried not to think of how wonderful his lips felt against mine. Gabriel smiled softly to himself and touched his lips. It looked like I wasn't the only one to enjoy the kiss.

"Julian," Gabriel said softly, "Would you like to do that again?"

"I am married," I said glaring at the ground.

"And I am an Archangel, but I would like nothing more than to kiss you again and never stop."

Hearing Gabriel say that I felt my heart beat faster. This man didn't know me and he was saying the sweetest things that I had ever heard. There was no doubt that I wanted to be with him in some way.

"I do," I said shaking my head, "I would like nothing more, but how is this going to work?"

"I will come for you," Gabriel said placing his hand against my face, "All you have to do is wait."

"I will not wait forever Gabriel, and I will not be with my wife if I am with you."

"I know."

"Then hurry back."


	8. Chapter 8

I own nothing. Last chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

"Did you see what you needed to, Sam?" Castiel asked gently.

"Yes," I said nodding, "I loved him before I knew who he was. Hell, I trusted him before I knew who he was."

"That hasn't changed, has it?"

"No, it hasn't. I still love him and I still trust him. I want nothing more than to be with him for as long as I can. I'm not going to let him get away. I need to go to sleep and talk to him."

"Than go back to the motel. Dean will be there and so will Gabriel. You might want to do this quickly. From what you've told us Gabriel will be waking up soon."

Climbing in the Impala I drove to the motel as quickly as I could without breaking any laws. I needed to get there quickly and having to make a stop with cops was going to take too long.

When I got to the motel I ran inside and saw Dean sitting on the laptop read a newspaper article. Dean looked up at me and nodded his head to Gabriel. He knew what I was going to do since I walked through the door.

Going to the bed I laid down next to Gabriel and closed my eyes. I didn't fall asleep easily, but I wasn't going to give up until I saw Gabriel again. Once I fell asleep though I didn't feel any better.

Looking around the dream house I wondered if a tornado had come through. Everything was ripped to shreds and thrown everywhere. My heart started to pound in fear.

"Gabriel," I yelled loudly.

Hearing a noise upstairs I started to run hoping that I had no reason to be afraid. Gabriel was smart, he wouldn't do anything to hurt himself, but I couldn't stop the thoughts from rushing through me.

"Gabriel," I said opening the bedroom door.

"Sam," Gabriel said looking up at me.

"The whole place is destroyed. What happened?"

"I don't know. I just got mad and you didn't come yesterday."

"I know. I asked Castiel to send me somewhere."

"Where did he send you?"

"To the past. When we first met. I realized something."

"What's that?"

"That you're not going anywhere. I love you Gabriel and I always will. If you think that I'm going to let you go you have another thing coming. You're stuck with me."

"I'll end up hurting you."

"Then hurt me. I'm not letting you leave."

Gabriel starred at me and sighed slightly. He got off of the bed and made his way to me. I reached up and touched his face gently. We stood there for a moment before Gabriel pulled away and closed his eyes.

"Sam," Gabriel said softly, "It's time for you to wake up. I'll met you there in a little while."

"Okay," I said kissing his forehead.

I closed my eyes and felt myself being pulled out of the dream. When I opened my eyes again I was in the motel. Sitting up I looked around and sighed gently. Gabriel was going to be with me soon.

"Dude," Dean said confused, "You just went to sleep."

"Gabriel is about to wake up," I said running a hand through my hair.

"Want some time alone?"

"Yes," Gabriel said opening his eyes.

Dean nodded his head and grabbed the keys to the Impala before leaving. Gabriel and I sat on the bed in perfect silence. I didn't know what I was supposed to say to him now.

"Do you mean it Sam?" Gabriel asked slowly, "You love me?"

"More than anything," I said calmly, "I always have. Even when you were the Trickster. Hell, since I met you I've been thinking about you. Wishing I could have you. I trust you Gabriel. Do you know how difficult that is from someone like me?"

"Yeah, I do. You've always been this way Sam."

"What do you mean?"

"Since the first time I met you it's like you're willing to give me your heart. I don't know why you're doing that.'

"Because I love you."

"I love you too."

Smiling I stood up and pulled Gabriel with me. He rested his head on my shoulder and took a deep breath. Having him in my arms and knowing that he wanted to be here made me happy.

There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Gabriel and that he loved me. Him leaving me was something I knew that he might do. My life as well as his are very complicated and dangerous.

If he left it would be to protect me. I doubted that he knew how much leaving me would hurt me worst then almost anything else he could do. It wasn't that I needed him, but I did want him.

Having Gabriel around me made me think that I was doing all of this for a reason. I could see how much love was in the world and how it could be destroyed so easily if the monsters were left unchecked.

"I can stay," Gabriel said nodding.

"Do you want to?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah, I always did. I thought you would be better off without me though. I still think that."

"Gabriel, without you I only have Dean. Don't get me wrong I love my brother, but it's not the same love that I hold for you. Only you. I loved Jessica, but it felt different with her. Like I wasn't really supposed to be with her. I don't feel that with you."

"What do you feel?"

"Safe, warm, wanted, protected, loved. And I don't want to lose all of that just because you think leaving will protect me."

"You'll get killed from being around me."

"If I remember correctly you were killed because of me. Are you going to leave me?"

"I…No. I won't leave."

"Good."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Why don't I call Dean and we can go get something to eat?"

"Sounds good. Wait, there's going to be some chocolate there, right?"

"Of course."


End file.
